


take a deep breath

by foxerica (ericaismeg)



Series: rare ships [51]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 22:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10649640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/foxerica
Summary: The pack is exhausted and broken. Lydia has to fix it somehow.





	take a deep breath

Lydia could spend forever like this; her hair blowing in the wind, her legs kicked up on the dash of the car, her hand held lightly in the girl her dreams are made of, and a damn good beat playing. She can’t really understand the lyrics, but she doesn’t mind. The sun is beaming down, and maybe she should’ve put another coat of sunscreen on but she can’t be bothered to dig around in her bag in the back. She closes her eyes and for the moment, she feels safe.

 _“Shut up!”_  a voice comes suddenly.

Her body jerks upright, and it takes her a moment to collect her thoughts. It had been a dream. The sunshine, the relaxation, the girl. All a dream, always a dream. Lydia rubs her eyes, realizing she hadn’t even taken her makeup off from yesterday. It doesn’t matter; she’s starting to get used to this. She glances around the room, taking in her surroundings.

“Stiles?”

“Sorry, Lyds. Jackson’s drunk again,” her friend’s voice comes from somewhere in the door frame. She squints and can just make out a shadow. “He…he’s not holding up so well. I’m going to put him to bed and then, um, I’m going to crash.”

“Okay,” Lydia says, softly. Her heart aches. God, the past four years have been hell. Absolute hell. There was no escaping it. Not even when they went away to college. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the anxiety…it followed each of them around, clinging to them like a scent that would never fade.

While romantic relationships had fallen apart, Lydia’s learning that they’re not all hopeless. She and Jackson had to end things eventually. Neither of them had romantic feelings for one another anymore - it had become all about survival. Once they finally caught a break, a moment of silence, a pause…well, it hadn’t come as a surprise to either of them. Lydia often wonders who has been helping Jackson deal with his demons, but he’d asked for space, afraid they’d fall back into old patterns. Giving him that had been difficult, but Lydia feels some comfort in knowing that Stiles picked his drunk ass up at the bar and made sure he got in safely.

The pack is exhausted. They had just accomplished killing their latest Big Bad, and Lydia wishes there would be a few months of grace before the next Big Bad shows up. She gets up out of the bed, and manages to stumble her way down the hall to the kitchen.

It’s been better, living with the pack instead of her parents’ place. Here, at the Hale House that Derek and Cora had rebuilt, Lydia could always count on someone being around. When she steps into the kitchen, there’s already a light on.

Erica stands in front of the window, clutching a mug of something, and she stares straight. Lydia’s heart picks up a little. God, Erica had looked so beautiful in her dream…driving the red convertible, her hair being tossed around in the wind, her smile bright.

She doesn’t look like that now. She’s tense, lost so deeply in her thoughts that she hasn’t noticed Lydia yet, and she looks broken. Scared. Lydia takes a very deliberate step on a piece of flooring that she knows always creaks. Erica doesn’t jump. She simply tilts her head slightly.

“Lydia, I thought the nightmares would stop by now,” Erica admits. “Did you have another one too?”

Lydia wonders if she should admit that she actually had a nice dream. A dream where all their worries disappeared and they could just hold hands. She decides against it. It’s not going to help Erica right now, and it’d open a conversation she’s not ready to have.

She joins Erica, standing beside her and looks out onto the dark gardens. “What was yours about this time?”

Erica sniffs. “Boyd. I miss him. Do you think he’s doing okay?”

Lydia steps a little closer to her, leaning her arm into Erica’s. This was such a difficult topic of conversation no matter what time it is. Lydia swallows, her chest suddenly tight. “I hope so, Erica. I sure as hell hope so. I hope he and Isaac have found peace with Allison in France.”

“I’ve never seen anyone break down the way Boyd did that day. He lost it. He just…lost it. He kept saying he couldn’t do it anymore. Lydia…I don’t think I can either.” Erica’s voice is shaking now. Lydia slips her arm around her waist. They’re friends. They’re pack. This is what they do. Lydia closes her eyes for a moment.

“We’re going to get through this together. Whatever comes next. We’ll get through it.”

“How do you know?” Erica asks. “Because I swear to god if _Kate_  comes back to life _one more time,_  I’m out. I’m so out. I can’t do this anymore. I just…I don’t want to be the one who is always fighting and risking her life. I just want to get my license and drive aimlessly. I want to just drive. Drive until I’m so far away from this damn town that I can finally shake it all off.”

Lydia smiles at the thought. If only Erica knew what she’d been wishing for minutes ago. “If we leave…”

“Then there’s no one to protect the innocent.”

“I would go with you, Erica. I would.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think that we could be free of all this one day? Do you think we could have fun, innocent adventures one day? Go skinny dipping and sleep under the stars? Break into old abandon homes and have a photo shoot? Spend a night at a drive-in and eat our weight in chocolate and popcorn?”

Lydia reaches down and slips her hand into Erica’s. It’s so easy to imagine a world where none of the horrors exist. So easy to forget that they can never have that. She nods. “I think we could be free of all this one day. We could go bowling. I’d kick your ass.”

Erica lets out a choked laugh. When Lydia looks up at her this time, she realizes that Erica’s crying. With her free hand, she reaches up to wipe her cheeks. A strangled sob and a desperate murmur, and then Erica is sobbing uncontrollably. She’s starting to hyperventilate.

Lydia spins Erica to face her now. She takes both of her hands in hers. “Erica, Erica, can you hear me?”

Erica bobs her head up and down. The tears keep coming down. The broken sobs keep echoing around them. The tremble of her hands don’t stop.

“Take a deep breath, Erica. Try. I know it’s hard. I know everything is hard. It’s all screwed up. You shouldn’t be worrying about how to kill witches or how to hunt down vampires. You shouldn’t have to think about how you’re going to save the next victim. It’s not fair. It’s asking too much of you. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better than this, Erica. You deserve a summery afternoon, cruising in a convertible. You deserve peace and quiet and happiness.”

Erica doesn’t stop crying.

“I’m only going to ask you try one thing for me, is that okay?”

Erica nods.

“Take a deep breathe, babe. Just inhale slowly. And exhale. Let it all go.”

It takes a while - longer than it used to - but eventually, Erica’s panic attack calms down. She pulls Lydia close and clings to her.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Erica whispers.

Lydia longs to hold her hand, but the timing is never right. Instead of saying something, speaking up like she wants to, she bites her tongue and offers her a polite smile.

“I love you,” Erica tells her, quietly.

 _I love you too,_  Lydia’s mind screams. Instead, she pulls her friend close and strokes her hair. “You’re going to be okay, Erica. You’re going to be okay.”

One day. One day, they will be free from all of this. And on that day, Lydia is going to tell Erica just how desperately in love with her she is. Until then, she bites her tongue when Stiles comes to join them and offers Erica his comfort too. She just wants to be alone, protecting Erica. But she can’t. She can’t do it alone. It’s too much these days.

“I’m anxious about going to sleep,” Erica admits to them.

“I’ll sleep with you,” Lydia offers.

“Thanks.”

And when Lydia feels the tension in Erica, she whispers, “Just take a deep breath, Erica.”

“I love you.”

_Me too._

✿ ♥ ✿ ♥ ✿


End file.
